Reclaiming Joy: Why Laughter and Pleasure Are Essential in Religious Trauma Recovery
Healing from religious trauma is often imagined as a heavy, introspective journey. It conjures images of therapy sessions, difficult conversations, tears, and the painstaking unpicking of belief systems that once defined your life. And yes, those are undeniably part of the journey.
But what rarely gets spoken about is the joy, laughter, and pleasure are not frivolous luxuries, they are essential tools in reclaiming your life after religious harm. In fact, they are radical acts of self-liberation.
When you’ve spent years being taught that fun, desire, or even curiosity about life is sinful, indulging in pleasure can feel foreign or even wrong. I know this firsthand. I have had many moments, where I realised something profound: joy isn’t just about fun. It’s about reclaiming the part of me that was conditioned to hide, apologise, and shrink.
Why Joy Matters in Religious Trauma Recovery
Religious trauma often comes with deeply ingrained messages about morality, worth, and behaviour. Pleasure can be framed as “selfish,” “sinful,” or “distracting from spiritual duty.” Many survivors carry a guilt so embedded it doesn’t just apply to big things, it shows up in everyday choices, from what we eat to how we spend our free time.
The thing is, joy is more than a fleeting emotion. Neuroscience tells us that positive emotions release chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which not only make us feel good but actively help our brain recover from stress and trauma.
Joy strengthens our emotional resilience, enhances our relationships, and even bolsters our immune system. In other words, reclaiming joy is a form of self-healing.
Practical ways to invite joy into your day:
Notice the small things: a song that moves you, the sun on your face, or a delicious cup of coffee. These are tiny acts of reclamation.
Keep a “joy journal” and write down one small thing that brought you pleasure each day.
Set aside guilt-free time for activities that make you smile, whether that’s reading a novel, doodling, or simply lying in the sun.
Laughter: The Antidote to Trauma’s Grip
Humour is often underestimated in recovery spaces, yet its benefits are profound. Laughter reduces stress hormones, lowers blood pressure, strengthens the immune system, and releases endorphins. It is our natural “feel-good” chemicals. More than that, it reminds us that life does not have to be constantly heavy, that we can exist outside of fear, shame, and self-judgement.
Laughter isn’t just fun; it is liberating.
How to intentionally invite laughter into your recovery:
Watch a comedy special or funny videos that genuinely make you laugh. Don’t just smile politely, seek out belly laughs.
Spend time with people who bring humour into your life, even if it’s a tiny social circle.
Try playful exercises, like laughter yoga or silly dancing. It might feel awkward, but that’s exactly why it works, it breaks patterns of hyper-seriousness ingrained by trauma and high-control religion.
Allow yourself to be silly, even in private. Wearing mismatched socks or singing loudly in the shower counts as resistance.
Pleasure as a Practice
Pleasure goes beyond joy and laughter, it’s about intentionally engaging in activities that make you feel alive, embodied, and present. For survivors of religious trauma, our bodies are often sites of shame or disconnection. We’ve been taught to ignore or distrust physical sensations, framing desire, comfort, or indulgence as morally dangerous.
Reclaiming pleasure is about rewiring those messages and reconnecting to your body and senses.
Pleasure can be tactile, auditory, visual, or emotional and it doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s idea of “worthwhile.”
Practical ways to cultivate pleasure:
Treat yourself to meals you genuinely enjoy, savouring each bite without guilt.
Move your body in ways that feel fun or freeing, dance, swim, stretch, or go for a walk in nature.
Engage in creative expression, painting, writing, singing, cooking, or gardening.
Spend time in spaces that feel comforting or inspiring like a cosy corner, a favourite café, or a park.
Reclaiming pleasure also means noticing what doesn’t feel good. For example, certain social settings, religiously coded environments, or even certain media may trigger discomfort. Part of recovery is learning to curate your experiences intentionally, amplifying pleasure and minimising unnecessary distress.
Overcoming Guilt Around Joy and Pleasure
One of the most significant barriers to embracing joy is guilt. Religious teachings often frame pleasure as “selfish” or “dangerous,” leaving survivors with internalised shame. The antidote to this guilt is self-compassion and permission. You get to decide what makes your life worth living, not your former religious framework.
Here’s a personal reflection: I used to have a mental checklist before doing anything enjoyable, almost like asking permission from an internalised moral authority: Is this of God? Over time, I learned to replace that checklist with a simple question: Is this mine and does this feel freeing to me? That shift was subtle but transformative. Guilt slowly lost its grip, and joy became a habit rather than a fleeting rebellion.
Strategies to counter guilt:
Journal about your guilt. Writing it out externalises it and reduces its power.
Reframe pleasure as resilience-building. Nurturing yourself gives you strength to navigate challenges.
Start small. Even five minutes of guilt-free fun counts. Celebrate it.
Laughter, Pleasure, and Connection
Joy is amplified when shared, and connection is a crucial component of recovery. Many survivors experience profound isolation after leaving a faith community. Laughter and shared pleasure can be lifelines in rebuilding social bonds.
Connecting with others who have left a controlling religious environment has been a key part for me. Sharing stories, jokes, and reveling in the absurdities of our collective pasts. It is cathartic. The laughter isn’t just fun, it feels like solidarity, affirmation, and mutual healing. Being seen as fully human, allowed to laugh and enjoy life without judgement, is an invaluable experience in religious trauma recovery.
Ways to cultivate social joy:
Seek communities where your authentic self is celebrated, whether in-person or online.
Host small gatherings that prioritise connection and lightheartedness.
Join creative or movement-based classes where the focus is on fun, not performance.
Making Joy a Habit
Joy, laughter, and pleasure can feel fragile at first. Trauma leaves us hypervigilant, and guilt or fear may still creep in. That’s why it’s important to treat joy as a practice and a skill that gets stronger with consistency.
Schedule “joy appointments” in your calendar, like a therapy session but for fun.
Mix solo and social pleasures. Some days you might need quiet, immersive experiences; other days, connection is essential.
Celebrate small wins: laughed out loud today? Ate something indulgent? Danced alone? That counts.
Recovery is messy, nonlinear, and sometimes joy will feel impossible, but each tiny act chips away at trauma’s grip.
A Radical Act of Reclaiming Your Life
Choosing joy in the wake of religious trauma is revolutionary. Religious teachings often prioritise control, fear, and obligation over authentic human experience. By laughing freely, indulging in pleasure, and living with curiosity and delight, you actively reclaim parts of yourself that were denied.
It’s not about ignoring grief, anger, or loss. It’s about holding them alongside your capacity for delight, building a richer, fuller life.
Pleasure is a tool, a form of resilience, and a statement: I am allowed to exist fully. I am allowed to be alive. I am allowed to enjoy it.
If you’re navigating religious trauma and want support in exploring joy, laughter, and pleasure safely, a practitioner trained in religious trauma can help you uncover what lights you up, without guilt, shame, or fear. You don’t have to do this alone, and joy can be a gentle, guiding companion on your recovery journey.
